Enlightened Leadership: Read an exclusive excerpt from a book by Bhutan PM Tshering Tobgay

Enlightened Leadership: Read an exclusive excerpt from a book by Bhutan PM Tshering Tobgay

Enlightened Leadership: Read an exclusive excerpt from a book by Bhutan PM Tshering Tobgay ByTshering Tobgay Feb 21, 2025 09:17 PM IST Share Via Copy Link In his new book, Tobgay, now in his second stint as PM, writes about his school days in Kalimpong, West Bengal, and how they shaped him as a leader. An excerpt.

On the slopes of the Deolo Hills in east Kalimpong, India, lies a cluster of colonial buildings built over 100 years ago. These modest yellow cottages with rust-red zinc roofs form a small compound atop an open space among lush forests. One of the buildings is a hospital, another a bakery. A distance away sits a small farm with cows, pigs, and chickens roaming freely. A single church spire sticks out visibly from the cluster of buildings and sports fields.

PREMIUM Enlightened Leadership: Read an exclusive excerpt from a book by Bhutan PM Tshering Tobgay

At first glance, the entire compound looks like a small European settlement—but, in fact, it is a boarding school, and the site of some of my fondest memories.

Spanning 500 acres, Dr Graham’s Homes is a safe haven for destitute children, most of whom are orphans. This place was where I grew up during my formative years and well into my teens. At the tender age of five, I was bundled off to Kalimpong to begin my education. It was the early 1970s, and Bhutan lacked schools. In an effort to encourage free education for all its people, the Bhutanese government sent hundreds of Bhutanese children to study in the schools located in the hill stations of India, particularly around the Darjeeling region. I was one of those children, and I was sent to Dr Graham’s Homes, where I would spend eleven years.

Dr Graham’s Homes is not strictly an orphanage, despite its being designed with abandoned children in mind. In 1900, Reverend Dr John Anderson Graham (who was affectionately known by us as ‘Daddy Graham’) founded the school to provide a home for abandoned Anglo-Indian children. After a visit to a tea garden in Darjeeling, Reverend Graham noticed the plight of the children there. The entire community suffered from great hardship and terrible deprivation. Most of the children in the Homes were offspring of British tea planters who settled in the region and later fathered children with local Nepalese, Lepcha, and Assamese mothers. Such liaisons were not unheard of.

But as the tea planters took on managerial positions at the plantations, they were allowed to invite their European brides to the land. As the foreign women sailed over, the local women and children in India were cast aside. The local women were no longer able to provide for their children, and many were sold or simply abandoned. Often, the women themselves were left destitute. Daddy Graham took it upon himself to look after these children by setting up a caring home and environment, where they could have the opportunity to lead a life of dignity.

Most of the Indian children in Dr Graham’s Homes were from poor families. The Bhutanese children who arrived here were also from simple families, mostly farmers. But, somehow, the Bhutanese children always seemed to have a little bit more money, one way or another. They had more clothes, more tuck (snacks) and pocket money. I realized later that the Bhutanese parents probably could not bear the thought of sending their children to boarding school, that too in a foreign country. Those parents weren’t particularly well-off either, but they gave their children everything they needed and more.

My own family was considered relatively well-off. My father, Nob Gyeltshen, was an officer in the Royal Bhutan Bodyguards and earned a decent wage. My mother Rinchen Zam raised six sons (of whom I am the eldest), weaving textiles in her spare time to make some money. We were not poor, but neither were we rich. However, we were frugal because my parents had to support us as well as their respective families. In fact, they even helped develop their villages, working hard to ensure a better life for others.

This meant they were very careful with their finances, even when sending us to a boarding school far away. So, unlike my fellow Bhutanese students, I rarely got extra pocket money. I was also much smaller in size and height compared to them, since most of the Bhutanese kids were already eight or nine years old when they were sent to Kalimpong.

My mother told me later that when I had left Bhutan for school, she was extremely concerned because I had barely learned to chew and was still sucking on my food. I must have developed slowly, and this was probably one of the reasons why I often felt inadequate.

Seeing other Bhutanese children who were better off, bigger, and stronger didn’t help either.

My younger brother Singye Dorji, who also attended school with me, didn’t seem to be affected by all this. He was getting all the attention from everyone who met him. He also had a disarming smile that could charm anyone who came in contact with him. Singye is one year younger than me, and I remember senior girls talking to him as though he was their baby brother. They would pinch his cheeks and take him around. In turn, he would have plenty of jokes and stories to tell others. As a result, Singye grew up with a wider circle of friends, both boys and girls, and even teachers.

The six of us brothers seem to be evenly split between sociable extroverts and reserved introverts. Brother three, Tshering Wangchuk, and brother four, Tashi Tshering, are the former, and they know practically everyone in our town and village to this day. But brothers five and six, Tshewang Tobgay and Sangay Yeshi, respectively, are like me, reserved and quiet.

Perhaps I was acting too seriously for my age, but as the eldest of six sons, I felt compelled to take my responsibilities seriously. Somehow, I thought I needed to be definite and clear in whatever duties I had to shoulder, since I was the eldest, hence my mother and others always said that I was the more solemn and pensive one. Looking back, I realize it was something else: I was private and introverted because I lacked confidence.

In contrast to my social butterfly brother, I was pretty much a loner for the first few years at Dr Graham’s Homes. I preferred my books to friends and alone time to football time. Rather than being lonely, I relished being alone and away from people, to the point I wished I was invisible!

In hindsight, this did nothing for my self-confidence. I never took part in any sports or extracurricular activities outside of my classes. Many Bhutanese excel in football, basketball, athletics, and swimming. But I refused to participate in any of these, unless it was compulsory. As a result, I never won a single certificate or award for such activities. Beyond physical activities, in my early years at school, I never took up responsibilities such as being class captain or monitor. If I could avoid people, I would. That is hardly a good start for a politician, but I am living proof that people can change and grow later in life.

Of course, I fully realize that while my introversion wasn’t beneficial to me as a child, it didn’t cripple me or keep me from excelling. This was how I plodded through my first few years at school. I didn’t need to crack jokes, spar or compete with my classmates, or hang out with them, and I didn’t feel the need to fit in. That said, giving up on a social life gave me ample time to bury myself in my books. My grades soared, thanks to that.

There was a turning point, though. In grade four, our English teacher read us Rudyard Kipling’s ‘Rikki-Tikki-Tavi’, a story of a brave mongoose who defends his human family from a cobra. I enjoyed the story as well as our next assignment—recounting it in an essay—thoroughly. To my surprise, I won first prize for it, and it was the first time I had ever won an award in my life. This filled me with a new confidence I have never experienced before, and the sense I could manage whatever school threw at me.

Since that moment, I paid more attention in class and pored over my studies. From someone who preferred the safety of invisibility, I gradually became one of the top students. I was in tenth place in grade five, and in the top three in grade six. I put my entire heart into my academic performance and topped the class in grade seven. People started calling me ‘mugpot’, but it never put me off. I do not say this to boast, only to point out what’s possible when you discover something worth doing with all your heart.

***

Despite missing my parents and longing to be at home in Bhutan, my time at Dr Graham’s Homes was one of the best memories I have of my childhood. This was not just a boarding school; it was a second home, a place that shaped my memories, instilled invaluable skills, and honed the leadership qualities that would serve me later in life.

(Excerpted with permission from Enlightened Leadership by Tshering Tobgay; published by Penguin Random House SEA; 2025)