The Indian-American community does not claim FBI director Kash Patel to be one of them and there are many reasons behind it, Dr Dhivya Srinivasa, a plastic surgeon, said in one of her viral Get Ready With Me videos. The video went viral as her audience loved how nonchalantly she delivered what they considered the brutal truth. “We are not mad that your significant other is the typically offensive white girl who thinks Hindu is a language. We don’t even care that you Americanized your name, Kashyap — you took a name that has ancient scholarly gravitas and changed it to something that sounds like a Russian fintech cashback app,” Srinivasa said.
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“The reason Indian people universally hate you is because our genetics couldn’t even save you. Indians, we have our eyes. It is hailed as one of our best features,” she said, showing her eyes for example. “But you look like you are permanently auditioning to be an extra in an M Night Shyamalan film,” Srinivasa said. Moving on from the eyes, the plastic surgeon said Indians spend their own dollars, unlike Patel. “When the Ambanis are boarding their private jet, it’s because they own the fleet. When you see the 17th billionaire Indian wedding on your feed, it’s because papa ji spent his own dollars,” she said taking a dig at Kash Patel using FBI jet for his personal use. Srinivasa said Indians at a dinner table fight over who is going to pay the check harder than Patel tried to answer a ‘yes’ or ‘no’ question at a Congressional hearing. “We don’t need you to have custom Jordans, we need you to have a custom plan on how you’re gonna release the Epstein Files.” Indians are smart, they win spelling bees and they don’t slam beers like Patel was seen doing, she said. “Indian folks, we are out here running Google, carrying the world’s healthcare with our MBBS baddies, literally inventing Math. I share a namesake with one of the most famous mathematicians, Srinivasa Ramanujan. You can say whatever you want about me, but you can’t call me stupid,” the surgeon added. Gujaratis are known as shrewd businessmen or women, Srinivasa continued her funny rant. “Do you know what Gujaratis will be known for? Taking the fall for a crusty old white man.”
