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Pooja says her mom Protima’s body was never found after death

Pooja Bedi says her mother Protima's body was never found after her death, regrets that she passed away before turning 50: 'She lived life on her own terms'

Kabir Bedi’s first marriage was with Protima Gauri in 1969. While today things are modern and we have the concept of open marriages or relationships, Kabir and Protima had an open marriage in those days. They had two children, Pooja and Siddhartha, yet, the couple got divorced in 1977. In a recent interview, Pooja has opened up on her mother Protima and her death. Protima was a celebrated model-turned-dancer who became known as much for her fearless individuality as for her art. In a recent conversation with SCREEN, Pooja opened up about her mother’s remarkable life and how she left the world exactly the way she had always wished—by merging with nature. Protima passed away in the mountains, her body never recovered. While Pooja still mourns that her mother didn’t live to see her 50th birthday, she finds solace in the fact that Protima lived—and departed—on her own terms.Pooja shared, “There are so many regrets about her leaving the planet before she even turned 50. There is so much that I wish I had done with her. But she was a woman who lived life on her terms. She lived the way she wanted, and she literally died the way she wanted. She always said she wanted to die out in nature and, you know, be one with nature.”She further explained, “At the end of this beautiful, glorious life, she didn’t want to be pushed into some crematorium with a mock ceremony of her ashes being put in the Ganga. She wanted to die out in nature; that was going to be a grand finale. And that’s exactly the way it panned out. Her body was never found. You know, it was one with the universe, one with the earth. She was just this incredible energy.”When asked if Protima had a sense of her own passing, Pooja revealed, “She came to me, wrote out her will, handed me her jewellery, handed me all her documents, handed me her property papers, and said, ‘You never know.’ I said, ‘Why are you being so dramatic?’ And she just said, ‘You never know, darling.’ She’d handed me everything that she ever possessed. And she said, ‘Siddhartha’s (Pooja’s brother) no more, he’s committed suicide. I’ve handed over Nrityagram to Lynn Fernandez; you’re my only mooring. I want you to let me go.’”Pooja then recalled her mother’s final note, which read, “And she went off to Kulu Manali, wrote me a 12-page letter summarising her entire life from birth, from her childhood, to her relationships, to her marriages, to her kids, to her dance journey, to where she was before her death, saying, ‘I’m in Kullu, Kullu means Valley of the Gods, and may all the gods and goddesses know of my eternal gratitude, I’m happy. I’m so very, very happy.’ And then she went off, and that was the last we ever heard from her. So what a journey, what a life, what a woman, what a mother.”For those not in the know, Pooja’s brother Siddhartha had committed suicide. Kabir had spoken about it in the memoir ‘Stories I Must Tell: The Emotional Life Of An Actor’. Siddharth was diagnosed with schizophrenia and died by suicide in 1997 at the age of 26. Bedi wrote in the book, “I have had my share of ups and downs, bankruptcy and mistakes which I have written in the book. I suffered great losses due to bad investments. All of this happened when my son was dealing with schizophrenia. I tried to prevent my son from committing suicide but I couldn’t and I felt guilty. At the same time, I went through financial disasters. I would go to auditions and did not know what to do. I lost a lot of work due to that. I was emotionally devastated and from there how I built myself again is all a part of my journey.”

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