Pauline Quirke’s family on her dementia: ‘She’s still funny and recognises us’

The family of Birds of a Feather actress Pauline Quirke have spoken of their “disbelief” at her 2021 dementia diagnosis.

Although the family are unsure what stage she is at, they said: “She’s still funny, she’s talking, she’s happy.”

Despite being “very private”, they told BBC Breakfast they wanted to raise awareness and funds for the condition.

“My mum has always been a charitable person. It’s what she would want me to do,” said her son, Charlie Sheen.

Best-known for playing Sharon Theodopolopodous in long-running sitcom Birds of a Feather, 66-year-old Quirke was also nominated for a Bafta in 1997 for playing a convicted murderer in BBC drama The Sculptress.

In 2022, she was made an MBE for services to the entertainment industry, young people, and charities.

But earlier this year her husband, Steve Sheen, who she married in 1996, had to announce her retirement.

This ended both her 50-year acting career, along with her role as head of Pauline Quirke Academy of Performing Arts, which has about 250 academies, and more than 15,000 young students across the UK.

Steve said they first got an inkling something might be wrong with Quirke in November 2020, after she received a script.

“She started reading it and she phoned me on that day and said, the words are not going in. That’s where it started,” he said.

Their reaction after the diagnosis was “disbelief, really”.

“We looked at each other and went, ‘Can’t be, it’s long Covid. Got the flu’.”

Charlie added he was “quite surprised that this was possible in a woman in her 60s, and it can happen to people in their 50s, people in their 40s, so it’s something you have to deal with and learn about”.

Dementia is described as “young onset” when symptoms develop before the age of 65. It most often develops in people between the ages of 45 and 65 but can affect people of any age.

Asked what stage Quirke is at in her dementia journey, Steve said: “We don’t know. She’s still funny. She’s talking. She’s happy.”

“Is it four years, eight years, 10 years, 12 years, 20, who knows?”

Charlie added: “And that’s the problem, no one tells you.

“My mum knows exactly who we are. Every time she sees all of us, she smiles, laughs, says ‘I love you’, says ‘hello’.”

They spoke about why they were sharing their experience, and what they had learned so far.

“Unfortunately we are not in the state where we can do much about it,” Steve said.

“Just take every day and try and take the best moment out of that day you can.

“It’s a long journey. If we can just help a little bit by using Pauline as the catalyst to make more people aware, then we should, to use her to boost awareness and raise funds for dementia research.”

Steve said the impact of the condition hit them slowly.

“It’s so gradual that for the first year, two years, you’re thinking, ah, she’s alright.

“Now, we’re three or four years in, it’s a little bit different. This is why awareness is important. We didn’t know how long it lasts or how long you have with it, or how bad it is or how quick it is.”

Charlie added that it “progresses and changes every day, but so do we – we change and progress, and so we’re forever learning”.

The NHS website states dementia is a syndrome (a group of related symptoms) “associated with an ongoing decline of brain functioning”.

Next month, Charlie is doing a fundraising walk for Alzheimer’s Research UK, going 140 kilometres to places that shaped his mother’s life, including homes she has lived in, theatres and TV studios she has worked at.

It will also include the Buckinghamshire headquarters of her children’s drama academy.

“This is my mum’s legacy,” he said.

“This is going to be one of the stops on my trek, because she wanted to nurture the next generation of young actors.”

Steve paid tribute to his wife, saying: “What you see is what you get. Loving. Brilliant. She’s an iconic actress because her talent is immense.”

Charlie added: “She is an incredible, strong, courageous woman that’s been through a lot and she keeps going.

“She’s a fighter and it’s incredible to see, yeah, very proud of her.”

If you are affected by any of the issues raised in this story, support and advice is available via the BBC Action Line.