Heartbreak, headless dummies and ‘eggy’ Shakespeare: Celebrity Traitors fight to the death

Spoiler warning: This article reveals details from the eighth episode of The Celebrity Traitors

Parting may have been sweet sorrow for young lovers Romeo and Juliet, but when Shakespeare’s famous line is uttered by traitor Alan Carr, it’s more like murderous Macbeth.

He has struck in plain sight – again – killing off Claudia’s “Queen of the Castle”, Celia Imrie, by quoting the bard while pouring her a goblet of wine at a lavish dinner for the remaining contestants.

“Oh honestly, just because I was brave enough to get the one traitor out,” Imrie said when she learned her fate, referencing the faithfuls FINALLY getting rid of traitor Jonathan Ross.

Imrie’s demise was indeed a sombre moment for all concerned.

“I love being here, it’s been gorgeous and I’m devastated. I so wanted to stay to the end, but it’s a game,” she said sadly.

After learning it was Imrie’s last supper, the burly Joe Marler became emotional, saying: “My darling Celia is gone. My heart is broken. I’m sick of this – they are taking out some lovely, lovely people.

“I’m not having it any more.”

But as Ed Gamble pointed out in BBC Two’s Celebrity Traitors Uncloaked, Imrie’s demise was ripe for humour as well.

Her accidental fart in episode three was the gift that kept giving.

“Farting is such sweet sorrow,” he said to her, in a line worthy of William Shakespeare himself, who also enjoyed contrasting dark, dramatic moments with bursts of humour.

Carr clearly got more of a taste for murder as the show progressed, bumping off Paloma Faith in plain sight and handing Lucy Beaumont her death warrant.

But this time round, his conscience re-emerged, and he found it “heartbreaking”.

“I’m really hoping third time’s a charm,” he said, trying to convince himself he still had it in him to keep going.

Host Claudia Winkleman was rattled by losing Imrie, declaring: “I love her”, as she stalked out of the breakfast room clutching Imrie’s portrait.

Perhaps not surprisingly, Carr later looked a bit edgy about the upcoming round table, telling Cat Burns his Shakepearean moment was “so obvious”.

“I’m so nervous, what do we do if everyone goes for me today,” he said.

“I just hope no one puts two and two together with the the eggy Shakespeare quote.”

Later on, the contestants had to put their doubts and suspicions aside for the day’s challenge – in a creepy room full of headless dummies, which needed their Celebrity Traitor heads to be reattached.

Easy enough – except our celebrities had to navigate through a fiendish array of red laser beams, all pointing at awkward angles, meaning the most nimble had the easiest time of it.

Nick Mohammed turned out to be something of a twinkle toes, making it through with relative ease.

But poor Marler had a trickier time of it, saying: “I’m not one of the nimble, agile rugby players” and calling himself a bit of an “oil rig”.

Carr, noting that Claire Balding‘s head “looked like Boris Johnson”, decided to carry Imrie across first, saying: “I took Celia’s head because I missed her – even though I murdered her, but I had pangs of guilt!”

He later took his own, admitting: “I grabbed my own head, I’m a narcissist… well someone’s got to love it!”

After a nail-biting finish, the celebs managed to complete the task, earning Claudia’s praise, including a surprising accolade.

“Thank you, you were amazing. That was better than my wedding day,” she said.

After all the camaraderie of the challenge, it was then even harder for the contestants to face the round table, where with just six of them left, everyone felt exposed.

Burns was hoping she hadn’t “given them enough to cling on to”, while Kate Garraway was uncharacteristically bullish.

“I’m going to fight to the death,” she said.

There was plenty of fighting talk from Marler too, who looked like he was going to name and shame Carr and vote for him.

But he ended up voting for Garraway, calling her a “dipsy damsel”, and she was voted off – yet another faithful biting the dust.

She gave a touching speech as she departed, referencing the death of her husband, political lobbyist and therapist Derek Draper. Draper died last year after living with extreme complications after getting Covid during the pandemic.

“I’ve had a lot of years of being very serious and very sad, and you’ve all allowed me to play the most amazing game,” she said.

“But also you’ve allowed me to play and be silly and have fun. Every single one of you.

“I’m going to take away a new idea at the start of a new kind of life really, so thank you very much for that.”

David Olusoga also got a couple of votes, including one from Carr, who managed to mostly lie low during the discussion, along with Burns.

Or so they thought.

Marler is onto them, convinced they’re both traitors, and is now rallying Mohammed and Olusoga to back him as they go into the final.

“I’m hoping to get really close to Alan and Cat so they keep me in the game, and then I can try and pull the rug from under their feet last minute,” he said.

“Sorry traitors, I’m coming for you.”

There was a telling moment right near the end of the show, when each remaining contestant had to look the others in the eye and tell them they were a faithful.

The others kept straight faces, but Carr couldn’t manage it without dissolving into a fit of giggles. One X user called it “the TV moment of the year”.

“I am a faithful, I just get nervous,” Carr told everyone.

“Yeah, I’m not having it,” said Marler.

If Marler puts his full force behind his convictions, he could prove to be unstoppable.