A upama
Pa ameswa a
co fi ms
b eakup;
ecalls
‘ a cissistic
abuse’_
‘It
was
like
livi g
with
a
‘
Act ess
A upama
Pa ameswa a
has
spoke
i
detail
about
he
b eakup
a d
the
difficult
pe iod
she
says
she
expe ie ced
ove
the
past
two
yea s.I
a
i te view
with
Dha ya
Va ma,
A upama
Pa ameswa a
said
she
we t
th ough
what
she
desc ibed
as
“ a cissistic
abuse”
du i g
the
elatio ship.
She
said
this
is
the
fi st
time
she
has
spoke
publicly
about
the
expe ie ce
a d
its
impact
o
he
life.“The e
a e
a
lot
of
thi gs
behi d
that
post.
It
was
the
esult
of
two
yea s
of
physical
a d
emotio al
suffe i g
a d
b eakdow .
I
we t
th ough
a cissistic
abuse
fo
the
past
two
yea s,”
A upama
Pa ameswa a
said.
A upama
Pa ameswa a
ecalls
I stag am
post
A upama
Pa ameswa a
also
add essed
a
I stag am
post
that
had
ea lie
led
to
speculatio
about
he
pe so al
life.
She
said
he
family,
f ie ds
a d
staff
had
al eady
oticed
cha ges
i
he
behaviou .“If
I
had
posted
a
pictu e
of
myself
i
that
yellow
d ess
a d
w itte
‘Rest
i
Peace
A upama,
she
committed
suicide’
i stead,
I
would
have
eceived
so
much
love
today.
The e
would
have
bee
so
ma y
discussio s.
It
has
bee
mo e
tha
a
mo th
si ce
the
outside
wo ld
came
to
k ow
about
the
b eakup.
Eve yo e,
i cludi g
my
family,
f ie ds
a d
staff,
k ew
that
the
elatio ship
was
ot
ight
fo
me.
They
oticed
a
cha ge
i
me.
They
ealised
that
I
was
becomi g
withd aw ,”
she
said.A upama
Pa ameswa a
said
a cissistic
abuse
ca
happe
g adually.
She
explai ed
how
co t ol
ca
become
pa t
of
a
elatio ship
without
the
victim
immediately
ecog isi g
it.“Na cissistic
abuse
happe s
ve y
quietly.
People
misu de sta d
a cissists
as
people
who
love
themselves
a
lot.
But
they
actually
hate
themselves.
They
a e
i secu e.
They
do
ot
ecog ise
thei
ow
wo th.
Basically,
what
they
wa t
is
someo e
they
ca
co t ol.
They
seek
atte tio .
They
co sta tly
wa t
validatio
a d
co side atio ,”
she
said.
E gageme t
talks
bega
withi
th ee
mo ths
A upama
Pa ameswa a
ecalled
how
quickly
the
elatio ship
p og essed.
She
said
he
fo me
pa t e
i t oduced
he
to
his
family
afte
thei
fi st
few
dates.
E gageme t
discussio s
followed
withi
th ee
mo ths.“Afte
the
fi st
o e
o
two
dates,
he
took
me
to
his
house.
He
i t oduced
me
to
his
family,
a d
I
had
meals
with
them.
Withi
th ee
mo ths,
he
sta ted
talki g
about
a
e gageme t.
His
family
bega
aski g
whe e
it
should
be
held
a d
how
ma y
people
should
atte d,”
she
said.The
act ess
said
she
ejected
the
e gageme t
p oposal
a d
asked
fo
mo e
time.
She
also
espo ded
to
allegatio s
that
she
was
a
“gold
digge ”.“To
those
who
call
me
a
gold
digge ,
I
wa t
to
say
that
if
I
had
ot
ejected
the
dema d
fo
a
e gageme t,
my
ma iage
to
him
would
have
e ded
i
divo ce.
I
was
the
o e
who
decided
that
I
did
ot
wa t
a
e gageme t.
Whe
they
asked,
I
equested
some
mo e
time,”
A upama
Pa ameswa a
said.
A upama
Pa ameswa a
says
elatio ship
affected
ca ee
A upama
Pa ameswa a
also
alleged
that
the
elatio ship
affected
he
ca ee
choices.
She
specifically
efe ed
to
the
success
of
‘D ago ‘
a d
questio ed
why
she
did
ot
atte d
its
p omotio s.“’D ago ‘
was
the
biggest
success
of
my
ca ee .
Why
did ‘t
I
atte d
its
p omotio s?
I
tu ed
dow
ma y
films.
He
sta ted
co t olli g
eve ythi g,
ot
just
my
wo k
but
eve y
aspect
of
my
life,”
she
said.
A upama
Pa ameswa a
compa es
ex
to
‘A iya ’
A upama
Pa ameswa a
compa ed
he
fo me
pa t e ‘s
cha gi g
behaviou
to
the
cha acte s
played
by
Vik am
i
‘A iya ‘.
She
said
the
elatio ship
i volved
cycles
of
affectio ,
c uelty
a d
apologies.“It
was
like
livi g
with
a
‘A iya ’.
O
some
days,
he
would
be
‘Remo’.
You
would
feel
i c edibly
lucky
to
have
such
a
wo de ful
pe so
i
you
life.
The
ext
day,
he
would
be
‘A iya ’.
He
would
behave
i
the
most
c uel
ma e .
The
followi g
day,
he
would
apologise,
beg,
p omise
that
he
would
eve
epeat
it
a d
c y
like
a
child.
This
would
keep
epeati g.“The
pe so
who
hu ts
you
the
most
would
also
be
the
o e
who
gives
you
comfo t.
It
is
like
a
addictio .
They
make
you
each
a
poi t
whe e
you
feel
you
ca ot
live
without
them.
Eve
whe
somethi g
has
othi g
to
do
with
you,
you
would
e d
up
feeli g
that
you
we e
at
fault,”
A upama
Pa ameswa a
added.Comi g
to
the
wo k
f o t,
A upama’s
last
outi g
was
‘Pet
Detective’.
This
sto y
is
based
o
eve ts
as
epo ted
by
ews
sou ces
a d
is
fo
i fo matio al
pu poses
o ly.
The
accu acy
of
the
details,
i cludi g
the
ide tity
a d
me tal
state
of
the
i dividuals
i volved,
ca ot
be
i depe de tly
ve ified
a d
may
be
subject
to
cha ge
as
the
i vestigatio
p og esses.
This
i fo matio
should
ot
be
co side ed
a
defi itive
accou t
of
the
eve ts.
