Hayde Pa ettie e, who has died at the age of 36, lived most of he life i the spotlight – f om success as a child sta to lead oles i hit TV shows He oes a d Nashville – but also e du ed st uggles that we t alo g with the p essu es of fame.
Pa ettie e appea ed i he fi st comme cial whe she was 11 mo ths old. He mothe Lesley Vogel was a act ess a d set he daughte o the same path.
By the age of fou , Hayde was i US TV show O e Life to Live, the at eight joi ed a othe soap ope a, Guidi g Light.
He atu al acti g ability was evide t, but the bu geo i g childhood ca ee came at a cost.
“F om a ve y you g age, I lost the cha ce to have a o mal childhood, f ie ds, elatio ships, a d my p ivacy,” Pa ettie e w ote i he eveali g autobiog aphy, This Is Me, which was published ea lie this yea .
She was “g oomed” to be a acto , she told the Hollywood Repo te . “I was like a little soldie a d I always have bee . No was eve a optio .”
Pa ettie e’s ca ee flou ished a d she soo ea ed oles like the voice of P i cess Dot i Pixa ‘s A Bug’s Life i 1998, becomi g o e of the you gest eve G ammy Awa d omi ees fo the accompa yi g child e ‘s ead-alo g album.
She sta ed with De zel Washi gto i Ame ica football d ama Remembe the Tita s i 2000; a d had oles i TV’s Ally McBeal a d 2004’s Raisi g Hele with Kate Hudso .
Whe filmi g 2005’s Raci g St ipes, a child e ‘s film about a zeb a who thi ks it’s a ace ho se, she suffe ed a back i ju y whe she fell off a zeb a, a d “ove 20 yea s late , these i ju ies still bothe me”, she w ote.
She also sta ed i 2006 chee leadi g comedy B i g It O : All o Nothi g, the thi d i stalme t i the B i g It O film se ies.
Also i 2006, she achieved a ew level of fame whe supe he o TV show He oes became a majo hit.
Pa ettie e’s cha acte Clai e Be et, a chee leade with powe s of spo ta eous ege e atio , was at the hea t of the show’s “save the chee leade , save the wo ld” p emise.
She was 16 a d the fame came with ew levels of atte tio , i cludi g f om swa ms of papa azzi. They kicked he a d said “appalli g” thi gs to attempt to get a eactio , she said, while o e headli e t umpeted a pictu e of he appa e t cellulite.
“I suffe ed f om body dysmo phia fo yea s because of that, believi g that o matte how st o g, thi o you g I was, the e was o escapi g the d eaded cottage cheese thighs.”
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At o e poi t, she was give a “happy pill” by a publicist to help he pe fo m o a ed ca pet. That e ded up bei g “the gateway d ug that ushe ed me towa d the good of pha maceuticals a d the dow fall of addictio “, she said.
While wo ki g o He oes, Pa ettie e suggested he mothe should o lo ge be he ma age . “I despe ately wa ted he to just be my mom,” the act ess said.
“I also was ‘t expecti g the eactio that I got, which was, ‘You owe me.’ That’s all she said, a d she walked out.”
At 18, Pa ettie e sta ted dati g he He oes co-sta Milo Ve timiglia. That did ot stop he bei g subjected to sexual ha assme t i Hollywood.
At a pa ty i 2008, a TV executive kissed he o the lips – which she i itially b ushed off as ha mless, but Ve timiglia told he was “completely i app op iate”.
Late , a ma who she desc ibed as “a Osca -wi i g acto a d di ecto ” allegedly exposed himself to he . She said he told he he had gum o his t ouse s – a d whe she looked dow , “this well- espected, awa d-wi i g acto ‘s testicles we e ha gi g out f om his u zipped fly”.
A d a othe time, someo e she thought of as a f ie d ushe ed he i to bed with a aked, u amed “famous thi tysomethi g B itish si ge -so gw ite ” while o a yacht.
“My body o lo ge felt like my ow ,” Pa ettie e w ote. “The shock was so g eat it did ‘t eve occu to me to say o.” She did, howeve , ma age to get out of the bed a d u out of the oom.
Pa ettie e met Uk ai ia boxi g champio Wladimi Klitschko at a pa ty i Los A geles whe she was 19 a d they bega a elatio ship. He was 13 yea s olde tha he , a d they had a daughte five yea s late .
Afte the bi th, she was hit ha d by postpa tum dep essio . “I eve felt a y hostility o egativity towa d my child, tha kfully, but I was ‘t co ecti g with he the way that I k ew I should be, a d I was full of st ess a d a xiety all the time,” she told podcaste Jay Shetty.
She was d i ki g heavily. “What I was doi g to supp ess those emotio s was ot o mal a d it was ot healthy.”
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Klitschko helped get he t eatme t but whe thei daughte was th ee, he told Pa ettie e he was wo ied about the gi l whe she was with he mothe because of he d i ki g, a d asked he to sig ove custody.
Pa ettie e eacted a g ily a d co side ed a legal battle to keep thei daughte , but eve tually ag eed because she accepted that he daughte Kaya ” eeded to feel at est, ot just physically, but me tally a d emotio ally”.
She w ote: “Not bei g u de the same oof with he eve y day has bee the most gut-w e chi g expe ie ce of my life, a d it’s ha d to desc ibe the laye s of emotio , i cludi g sad ess, ese tme t, a d a ge I felt because of it…
“I g ieve that I’m ot the mothe I thought I’d be, a d defi itely ot the mothe I wa t to be. T ust me, o o e should eve have to aise a child o FaceTime.”
She emai ed i volved i he daughte ‘s life a d added i he ece t autobiog aphy that “despite it all, the bo d I have with Kaya is i c edibly st o g”.
At the same time, Pa ettie e was bei g lauded fo playi g t oubled cou t y si ge Juliette Ba es i TV d ama Nashville, which ea ed he two Golde Globe omi atio s du i g its six-yea u .
O e c itic, i Met o, w ote: “A cha acte who could be the biggest ste eotype goi g has, tha ks to Pa ettie e’s awa d-wo thy pe fo ma ce, become the hea t of Nashville, a believably flawed, ot always easy to like cha acte who is clea ly a p oduct of he t aumatic childhood.”
The disti ctio betwee the act ess a d he cha acte became blu ed, howeve .
“Whe I fi st sta ted doi g Nashville I thought, well, it’s just a coi cide ce that ou ou lives a e have so ma y simila ities,” she said.
“A d the as the yea s we t o , the episodes we t o , a d eve ythi g kept sta ted matchi g up – f om who Juliette Ba es was dati g, to bei g a alcoholic, to postpa tum dep essio , to losi g he child, basically aba do i g he child – the it was like, OK, this you guys a e just mi o i g my life.”
As well as bei g u ca y, fo Pa ettie e it was t aumatic to act out thi gs so simila to he eal life. “I dove headfi st i to my ow hell,” she w ote.
“I was suffe i g f om debilitati g a xiety a d addictio I could ‘t shake, a d I had to live th ough it twice. Fi st at home, as Hayde , a d the i f o t of millio s at home, as Juliette.”
Sho tly befo e Nashville fi ished filmi g, she met a ew boyf ie d, B ia Hicke so . He late tu ed viole t, with Pa ettie e sayi g he would hit he head agai st the wall, a d o o e occasio beat he face so badly “I do ‘t leave the house fo weeks”.
I 2021, he was jailed afte pleadi g o co test to domestic abuse cha ges.
She suffe ed a othe majo pe so al t auma i 2023 whe he you ge b othe Ja se died, epo tedly due to a e la ged hea t.
Pa ettie e had to face mo e difficulties tha most i he 36 yea s, a d attempted to p ocess them by w iti g he book, which was published i May.
“I’ve always st ived to be a positive pe so , but I g ieve all the hou s I lost to addictio , my b oke elatio ships, a d my loved o es who a e o lo ge he e,” she explai ed. “I also k ow I’m ot alo e whe I say that the fact my family fell apa t still sti gs.
“I’ve spe t yea s i t eatme t t yi g to make se se of these losses, a d I’ve co cluded that the o ly thi g I ca cha ge is myself a d the pe so I wa t to be.
“If o ly that was easy.”
She e ded by telli g eade s she had accepted he past a d had hope fo the futu e, havi g lea ed to “walk ha d i ha d with my t iumphs a d my t agedies, because they have made me who I am”.
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