Govi da
ecalls
bei g
i
t eme dous
pai
afte
mothe
Ni mala
Devi’s
death
a d
e te i g
Na mada
Rive
i
g ief:
‘
I
thought
I
would
go
a
little
fa the
i to
the
ive
a d
that
I
would
meet
my
mothe
agai ‘
Govi da
has
ope ed
up
about
o e
of
the
most
pai ful
pe iods
of
his
life,
ecalli g
the
emotio al
tu moil
he
faced
afte
his
mothe ,
Ni mala
Devi’s,
death
i
1996.
The
acto
evealed
that
his
g ief
became
so
ove whelmi g
that
he
o ce
walked
i to
the
Na mada
Rive
believi g
he
might
meet
his
mothe
agai .
Looki g
back,
Govi da
said
the
expe ie ce
eve tually
cha ged
his
u de sta di g
of
life,
family
a d
his
ow
pu pose.
Govi da
emembe s
u bea able
g ief
Speaki g
to
ANI,
Govi da
desc ibed
the
pe iod
followi g
his
mothe ’s
death
as
o e
of
t eme dous
emotio al
pai .
Ni mala
Devi,
a
espected
Hi dusta i
classical
vocalist
a d
act ess,
died
o
Ju e
15,
1996,
at
the
age
of
69.
The
acto
sha ed
a
pa ticula ly
close
bo d
with
he
a d
has
ofte
spoke
about
the
i flue ce
she
had
o
his
life.“I
was
i
a
lot
of
pai .
I
was
i
t eme dous
pai .
At
that
poi t,
I
felt
that
eve ythi g
was
ove ;
that
was
it,”
Govi da
said.The
loss
left
him
st uggli g
to
see
a
way
fo wa d,
eve tually
leadi g
to
a
i cide t
that
he
co ti ues
to
emembe
decades
late .
Why
Govi da
e te ed
the
Na mada
Rive
Recalli g
what
happe ed
at
the
Na mada
Rive ,
Govi da
said
he
had
become
co vi ced
that
goi g
deepe
i to
the
wate
might
somehow
allow
him
to
eu ite
with
his
mothe .“So,
I
was
at
the
Na mada
Rive ,
I
thought
I
would
go
a
little
fa the
i to
the
ive
a d
that
I
would
meet
my
mothe
agai .
So,
I
we t
i to
the
ive .”
Whe
asked
whethe
he
had
bee
attempti g
to
take
his
ow
life,
the
acto
ack owledged
the
se ious ess
of
the
situatio .“Ki d
of.
I
was
deeply
attached
to
my
mothe .
I
was
too
much
i
love
with
he .”Howeve ,
Govi da
said
he
does
ot
pe so ally
view
the
expe ie ce
o ly
th ough
the
co ve tio al
u de sta di g
of
suicide.“That’s
what
the
wo ld
calls
it.
People
use
suicide
type
of
wo ds.
We
do ‘t
eally
have
a ythi g
like
that.
Life
eve
e ds.
It
takes
o
ew
faces;
It
takes
o
ew
fo ms,”
he
said.
A
sadhu
helped
him
etu
Govi da
ecalled
that
a
sadhu
app oached
him
while
he
was
i
the
ive
a d
helped
him
come
back.
The
acto
emembe s
the
ma
as
Ram
Ku dal
a d
said
his
i te ve tio
became
a
impo ta t
tu i g
poi t.“He
called
out
to
me
a d
came
towa d
me.
I
came
out
of
the
ive
a d
he
asked
‘What
happe ed,
Govi d?’”
he
said.The
i cide t
fo ced
Govi da
to
eco side
his
actio s
a d
the
espo sibilities
he
still
had
i
his
life.
He
eve tually
ealised
that
his
child e
gave
him
a
easo
to
move
fo wa d.“I
ealised,
actually
someo e
said
to
me
this
at
that
time
that
I
was
doi g
somethi g
w o g…
A d
I
lea ed
a
lesso ,
I
ealised
that
I
have
to
live
fo
my
child e ,”
he
said.
Mothe ’s
d eams
became
Govi da’s
motivatio
Acco di g
to
Govi da,
it
took
him
app oximately
10
to
15
days
to
g adually
come
out
of
that
state
of
mi d.
He
eve tually
bega
to
believe
that
his
life
still
had
expe ie ces
a d
espo sibilities
waiti g
fo
him.He
also
said
his
mothe ’s
death
cha ged
the
way
he
viewed
his
ca ee
a d
eve ythi g
that
came
with
fame.
Films,
acti g
a d
sta dom
o
lo ge
ca ied
the
same
sig ifica ce
fo
him.“Films
is
just
like
toys
fo
me.
I
should ‘t
say
this,
I
am
sayi g
it
out
of
fea
of
God.
Fo give
me
if
I
should ‘t
be
sayi g
this,
a d
if
I
am
offe di g
a yo e…
But
I
believe
that
films,
acti g,
sta dom,
he oism,
all
of
it,
is
a
ma ifestatio
of
God.
Whateve
we
have
eceived,
we
have
eceived
f om
God,
a d
we
a e
simply
acti g
i
it.
We
have
see
all
of
this,
a d
we
we e
able
to
expe ie ce
it.”Fo
Govi da,
howeve ,
the
g eatest
measu e
of
success
was
ot
his
sta dom
but
his
ability
to
fulfil
the
aspi atio s
his
mothe
had
fo
him.“But
the
eal
achieveme t
fo
me
was
that
I
could
se ve
my
family
a d
my
mothe .
I
could
fulfil
all
the
wishes
she
had
imagi ed
fo
me,
what
she
had
thought
my
so
Govi da
would
achieve
whe
he
tu ed
21.
That
was
he
d eam.
A d
I
was
able
to
fulfill
it.
I
saw
t ue
he oism
i
that
pa t
of
my
life.
That
is
a
ve y
diffe e t
way
of
looki g
at
thi gs,”
he
said.
Govi da
p epa es
fo
comeback
O
the
p ofessio al
f o t,
Govi da
is
cu e tly
p omoti g
his
upcomi g
film
‘Roopa’,
which
also
sta s
Komal
Ra i
Swa ka .
The
p oject
ma ks
his
etu
to
films
afte
a
co side able
gap.The
acto
was
last
see
i
the
2019
elease
‘Ra geela
Raja’.
He
late
featu ed
i
the
2022
docume ta y
‘Naam
Tha
Ka haiyalal’.
With
‘Roopa’,
Govi da
is
ow
p epa i g
to
etu
to
the
sc ee
i
a
ew
chapte
of
his
ca ee .
